Category: Words

  • It was fifteen years ago today …

    Fifteen years ago today I had a first kiss. It changed my life.

    That kiss led me to five years of marriage – a state into which I was certain up until then that I would never enter.

    That kiss led to me learning how to better communicate my emotional needs and desires, to learning how to be a better listener and (hopefully) a better partner.

    It led to the discovery that monogamy is not necessarily one-size-fits-all, and that it no longer fit me. I’ve spent the last fifteen years in non-monogamous relationships – sometimes in a state of ease, other times in conflict, internal and external – and expect that I will continue to do so as long as I have romantic relationships.

    It led to finally finding my people in Seattle after three years casting about. (I miss you deeply.)

    It also led me to my favorite city on earth, Black Rock City. It led to Burning Man and the gloriously effusive Burner culture which has welcomed me pretty much everywhere I’ve been in the intervening years. It has become an enormous part of my life, to the point where I was involved organizationally for three years in Seattle, and am now here in Spain with Nowhere and other local and regional events.

    So, I tip my glass to you, dear unwife. Happy Kissaversary.

  • Hi, it’s me again.

    It has been a Very Long Time since I last wrote here. But well, today’s kind of a big deal. You see, two years ago today I left Seattle, embarking on my plan to ride my motorcycle to Bangkok.

    But a funny thing happened on the way: I fell in love with Europe and decided to stick around for a while. I’ve been in Barcelona now for almost 14 months, still loving it. I don’t really see any reason to leave any time soon, though (much like when I left Seattle) I’m open to possibility.

    It has been an interesting time. The work I’ve been expecting hasn’t come through (long story, that), though I now have several interesting opportunities on the horizon. In the meantime, I’ve visited friends around Europe, made amazing connections, learned some Spanish, gotten involved with the local burner & nooner (attendees of Nowhere) community, and generally had a wonderful time.

    Looking forward to seeing what’s next!

  • Volume Three

    I’ve been back in Barcelona for a little over two weeks now, and it has been quite the delicious whirlwind. Meetings to help plan upcoming events, great parties with friends, meeting lots of new people, exploring the city a bit more, feeling root tendrils starting to sprout and grab hold.

    This is a wonderful place, and I feel really lucky to have landed in the midst of an excellent community – thanks to Nowhere, Italian Burning Weekend and the extended Burning Man community in general. Each day seems to present me with the chance to meet another new handful of people.

    I’m going to be returning to the United States for about a month, and it’s a little weird: I’m thrilled to see my tribe in Seattle and visit family in North Carolina, but Barcelona already feels so much like home that I know I’ll miss it while I’m away.

    This is not a bad problem to have, I realize. I’m a lucky man. Some of that is what I have created by deciding to tear myself away from the comfort of Seattle and ride off into the relative unknown, but much of it is serendipity. Landing in the right camp at Nowhere (thanks to Margherita for responding to my shout-out for a camp to join), a couple of visits prior to the most recent return, friends here helping me with connections for places to stay … yes. Lucky. Blessed, perhaps, though that’s a word I use with reservations.

    And now that i’m looking to settle here, it feels that all of Europe is my oyster, laden with pearls to sample. Of course, I’ll be working soon so my freedom to pop off to another spot for as long as I want will be curtailed, but with the prevalence of cheap airlines, everything is within a quick reach. I foresee trips to Italy, Vienna, Stockholm and Berlin in the coming months, and I’m sure more things will crop up to lure me out into new adventures. I’d love to go back to London for a little more exploration, and maybe return to Paris now that I know a bunch of people there.

    Of course, there’s so much going on here that it’s going to be hard to schedule those times away without feeling like I’m missing something great close to home. For example, Primavera Sound and Sonar are two big music festivals coming up in the next couple of months. Festivals aren’t usually my thing, but there are definitely some acts at both I’d really enjoy seeing. Portishead will be here soon. And there are so very many beautiful twisty mountain roads to go explore on my motorcycle.

    Again, there are certainly worse problems to have. I hope I’m not coming off as too smug – that’s certainly not my intention! I simply feel a little amazed and overwhelmed between friends, events, potential trips, and more. It’s a welcome change from the solo time I had in Morocco, where (other than a couple of brief stops) I had a challenging time making connections with people. It was a very introverted period for me. Not a bad thing, mind you – I appreciated having the opportunity to reflect on my adventures and journeys and connections made since leaving Seattle almost eleven months ago, and to look forward to creating and discovering new possibilities in my new home.

    I wish that the timing of this trip back to the US would be a little different. In my ideal world, I’d have time to find a place here and start to settle just a tiny bit before returning to the States. But circumstances demand my return now – things in storage need to be dealt with on a much more compressed timeframe than previously anticipated. Ah well, so be it. I’ll go back for a while, then come here and find a kick-ass place to live, dive into work and Spanish lessons and friends and springtime and joy! (Of course, there will be plenty of joy to be had back in the US.)

    Sometimes I see my life to this point as a series of books: _The East Coast Years_ and _Pacific Northwest_ are mostly written. The new book, as yet unnamed, probably starts on 18/4/2011. Maybe this trip back to Seattle is the epilogue for the second volume.

    I can’t wait to see how volume three shapes up! No matter what happens, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be good.

  • Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

    “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
    – John Lennon, “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)”

    Those of my beloved readers who have been following my plans since the beginning know that my itinerary has changed several times along the way. My very first draft itinerary was to spend last summer in Scandinavia, fall in Western Europe, and this winter riding around the Mediterranean before heading off to cross Asia in the spring.

    Then I had a minor – okay, maybe moderate – health scare, forcing me to delay my departure by six weeks. Then the Arab Spring uprisings began, putting most of the Mahgreb (Islamic North Africa) except Morocco off-limits for all practical purposes – I like adventure, not needless risk. Then I decided to spend my birthday at the Nowhere Festival (Europe’s teeny-tiny Burning Man-style event in northern Spain in the middle of July), which meant jettisoning my plans for Scandinavia.

    Then, curiouser and curiouser things happened:

    First off, while at Nowhere I met a great band of like-minded freaks – much like my tribe in Seattle, but scattered far and wide, a European Burner Diaspora. Then I had to go and fall in love with Europe as a whole, and southern (Mediterranean) Europe in particular. Somewhere along the way, I realized that I was – at least on some small level – looking for a new place to live.

    And then, most curious of all … while sitting in the sun talking with friends one lovely afternoon at Italian Burning Weekend, I asked my friend Andrea if he could give me a job in his software company. After the merest pause, he said “yeah”. Over the intervening months, a slow conversation has continued between us, resulting in the latest new plan:

    Come March, I’ll be moving to Barcelona to live and work. Exactly what I’ll be doing there is still not entirely clear – but something in the software world. Maybe slinging code again, maybe a client account manager, maybe something else.

    This means that my plans to cross Asia are, at least for now, off the table. Asia isn’t going anywhere, and I’m pretty sure my love of motorcycle travel isn’t either, so perhaps this will happen at some later date. I hope so.

    It also means that I’m not planning to return to Seattle as my home. Maybe some day, for life is long and I have a most excellent tribe of chosen family and friends there. Sometimes it pains me to face this reality – Seattle was my home for 15 years, longer than anywhere else, and I miss my people there every day. I have people there I love so much I turn into a big mushy mess if I think about them for too long. I miss my comfortable knowledge of the place, my routines, my favorite coffee shops and bars and restaurants.

    This new reality isn’t carved in stone yet – there are still a few hoops to jump through – but it does represent my current course. Things could change – with me, that wouldn’t be such a tremendous surprise, I suspect. Logistical challenges to living abroad for an extended period may present themselves. I may decide that in truth I can’t bear being away from the place and people which have been my heart’s home for so many years. Events yet to transpire may force me to return to the States. However, that is all conjecture and tomorrows.

    To my friends and loved ones in Seattle and New York and San Francisco and throughout the U.S.: once I’m settled, please come visit. Barcelona is lovely! Europe is grand! Nowhere is waiting for your smiling dusty love! And most importantly, I miss you and would love to play in Europe with you.

    All of you: whether you’ve been completely supportive of me from the start, wrestled with conflicting emotions or laughed and thought “He’s crazy in the coconut! (That boy needs therapy)” – thank you. I mean that most sincerely: I couldn’t have made it this far without you. It’s been a wild ride, and it ain’t over until I’m gone. I don’t plan on that happening any time soon (touch wood), so stick around and enjoy the ride.

  • Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-01-27

    • Finding a cheap place in Marrakech for a month with kitchen and wifi is a little bit challenging. I'm sure something will come up. #fb #
    • I just bought a pair of size 34 jeans. I haven't worn this size since 1996. #fb #
    • Moroccan drivers at stoplights seem obligated to honk as soon the light changes, to ensure cars ahead of them know it's time to go. #fb #

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  • Twitter Updates for 2012-01-20

    • Warring food cravings today: Full English Breakfast vs. brown rice, veggies, tofu, tahini sauce. Neither is a viable option. #fb #

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  • Itchy Brain Syndrome

    It’s good to have options, except for the times when choosing between them becomes difficult.

    For the last few weeks, I’ve been intending to head south for a bit, traveling through Mauritania to visit Senegal and perhaps Mali. I even spent several days in Rabat and paid about $50 for a dual-entry transit visa for Mauritania.

    For a number of reasons, I’ve decided to forgo this plan for now. Key among these reasons is that my brain has started feeling a bit itchy. I’ve had – and enjoyed! – lots of leisure time recently, but taking on a small personal programming project has made me realize that I’ve become too intellectually idle.

    Brain wants more to do than read and drift? Okay, brain, time for a new plan.

    As I’ve probably mentioned here before, I’ve felt linguistically illiterate since arriving in Europe, as I’ve met so many people who speak three, four, five languages (or more). In order to address this, I’m returning to Marrakech tomorrow, and intend to spend a month or so studying French. It’s a beautiful language, incredibly useful around the world, and something I’ve wanted to learn for a while. I took a week of lessons in Nice last fall, and have picked up a bit more during my six weeks in Morocco (it is the second language here).

    I’m happy to have a plan in place beyond just going to the next place and seeing the next thing. Let’s see how long before the brain rebels again.

  • Twitter Updates for 2012-01-19

    • Today marks nine months since I left Seattle. I've gone through 15 US states and 19 countries so far. Hopefully more this summer. #fb #

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  • Meknes

    By the time Jane and I set off from Chefchaouen, we had stayed a night longer than expected both there and our first stop, Asilah. We did so once again in our next destination, Meknes. During our time together, we had several conversations about the difference between tourists and travelers – both falling into the latter category. We (like others I’ve met who self-identify as travelers) tend to be interested in kicking back and getting the feel of a place, a slower pace which often lends itself to staying longer than expected.

    While in Chaouen, we got to pick the brains of Terry and Suzanne (our guesthouse hosts and long-time Moroccan expats, as mentioned in my previous post) about things to see and do while in Morocco. We’d been considering a visit to Fes, but they indicated that it’s quite the tourist trap – worth a day trip at most – and that we might want to stay in Meknes instead. We already wanted to visit Volubilis, the 2nd century Roman ruins about 40km north of Meknes, so decided to heed this advice.

    On arriving, we pulled into the main parking lot and figured out that we could leave BOB (my trusty steed, short for Big Orange Beast) there for 20dh per night (about $2.25). Then we were faced with the somewhat daunting task of actually finding the riad where we’d reserved a room, given that it was deep in the heart of the Medina. While I set to the now too-familiar task of unloading all of our gear off of BOB, Jane set off with the somewhat dubious assistance of one of the local touts, who abandoned her to her own devices with a dismissive “that way” wave once she’d made it abundantly clear that we weren’t interested in his services as a Medina tour guide after we’d settled in.

    A while later, she returned with Samir – cheerful, charming and mostly toothless, he’s one of the brothers who own the place we were staying. He helped us enlist the services of one of the many fellows who make their wages pushing carts of luggage, goods and so forth through the Medina, and off we went.

    Meknes was my first experience of an expansive Medina – at first, seemingly a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. We enjoyed wandering aimlessly within its walls and close alleys, peeking our heads down this passage and that, seeing what’s just around the next corner. We didn’t enjoy the steady stream of young men attempting in vain to entice us into their restaurants in the Place L’Hadim, just outside the Medina and across from the famed Bab Mansour gate, considered one of the finest Berber-style gates in Morocco.

    Some highlights of our time in Meknes:
    – Upon approaching a crowd gathered in the plaza, Jane was singled out and drawn inside the circle to act as assistant to the cheerful fellow performing magic tricks. He drew lots of laughs from the crowd with his running commentary, mostly in Arabic but with bits of French when talking with Jane.
    – Exploring the food souk – vendors of all sorts of olives, preserved lemons and pickles; many butchers, where you could buy chickens, rabbits, beef and lamb, even a whole cow’s head if you were so inclined; spice merchants with huge colorful mounds of cumin, ginger, turmeric, prepared mixtures of spices for tagine; lots of breads, little colorful sweet pastries; dried figs strung together like delicious rosaries, raw and roasted almonds, dates of many different qualities.
    – Man, sometimes it seems like everyone wants to sell you something. The most awkward and amusing of these was the guy who walked up to us as we were engaged in an intense conversation, gesturing at us with three or four live chickens in each hand. No, thank you, we don’t want to buy a chicken right now. No, really.
    – Sampling local Moroccan wine! This entailed visiting the Marjane – a Morocco-wide “hypermarket” chain, and one of the few places to buy alcohol (remember that Morocco is an Islamic country, and as such alcohol sales are heavily controlled). Domaine Rimal, Bonassia and Cuvee du President were all pleasing choices – if not particularly refined or complex – available for around $5-6 per bottle. Apparently if you step up into the $15-20 range there are some very impressive wines available, but I haven’t yet made such top-shelf selections.

    For me, the main attraction of our visit in Meknes was the day trip to Volubilis. While it is primarily thought of as a Roman ruin, its history extends back before the Roman incursion into North Africa. Covering an area of 45 hectares (about 130 acres), Volubilis – known to Moroccans as Oualili – is a very impressive spot, and well worth the visit. We hired a guide, and were both very happy that we did. He was an older guy, and had spent most of his life in Volubilis in some capacity. He began spending time there as a youth, when his father was hired as a cook for the French archaeologists who were excavating and restoring the site, and eventually knew enough about the site to begin working as a guide. He told us much about the site’s history, expounding on the public areas, olive oil production, waterworks throughout the city, homes of wealthy merchants (some as large as 800 sq m, or about 8800 sq ft), and even the local brothels.

  • Chefchaouen, Morocco

    After our time in Asilah, Jane and I headed on to Chefchaouen. A lovely everything-painted-blue town in the Rif Mountains, and apparently one of the hashish capitols of the world. When we stopped in town to try and figure out where our guesthouse was (quite a ways out of the main part of town, and a challenge to find), we were offered “best-quality, double-A” several times within about ten minutes. And it didn’t really let up the whole time we were there.

    Again, we spent several days here – one day exploring the city (and then getting rather lost trying to walk home again after dark), and another doing a day-trip into the mountains, in hopes of hiking into a theoretically-beautiful gorge. Sadly, we’d gotten a late-ish start, and then stopped for a leisurely lunch – food being a big bond between us – resulting in us realizing we’d be hiking back down in the dark if we tried to make it all the way up to the gorge. A lovely day nonetheless.

    Despite its out-of-the-way location, our guesthouse was fun. Owned by Terry and Suzanne, a witty Scottish expat couple, it felt more like staying in the home of new friends than my previous guesthouse experiences. They’d recently begun experimenting with making their own hooch – it being an hour drive to the closest spot to by alcohol – with water, sugar and some super-high-octane yeast. We tried it with juice, lemons, tonic – but my favorite creation was mixing it with hot black tea. Sort of a poor man’s hot toddy. They were also big fans of the aforementioned local agricultural products – you can imagine that with this combination there was lots of humorous, rambling conversation.

    Actually, backing up a bit: as we were leaving Asilah, Nabil mentioned that we should stop at one of the roadside barbecue stands on the road to Chaouen (as the locals call it). We did so. It took a little while to orient ourselves, what with the multiple hanging carcasses, big open grill area, a butcher-shop window and a separate restaurant area for “other” – salads, frites, drinks, etc. We ended up ordering 200g of lambchops, 200g of viande hachee (ground meat, again lamb in this case), a salade marocaine (diced tomatoes, onions, cucumber), fries and a bowl of olives. None of it was outstanding, as you might expect, but it was a thoroughly enjoyable roadside dining experience.

    [riding two-up]