It was fifteen years ago today …

Fifteen years ago today I had a first kiss. It changed my life.

That kiss led me to five years of marriage – a state into which I was certain up until then that I would never enter.

That kiss led to me learning how to better communicate my emotional needs and desires, to learning how to be a better listener and (hopefully) a better partner.

It led to the discovery that monogamy is not necessarily one-size-fits-all, and that it no longer fit me. I’ve spent the last fifteen years in non-monogamous relationships – sometimes in a state of ease, other times in conflict, internal and external – and expect that I will continue to do so as long as I have romantic relationships.

It led to finally finding my people in Seattle after three years casting about. (I miss you deeply.)

It also led me to my favorite city on earth, Black Rock City. It led to Burning Man and the gloriously effusive Burner culture which has welcomed me pretty much everywhere I’ve been in the intervening years. It has become an enormous part of my life, to the point where I was involved organizationally for three years in Seattle, and am now here in Spain with Nowhere and other local and regional events.

So, I tip my glass to you, dear unwife. Happy Kissaversary.

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